Come The Harvest

As of 4:44 p.m., it is now "officially" Autumn.  The time of Harvest, of gathering in the grains, the fruits that 

have been growing and ripening all Summer.  Time to receive the bounty of the Harvest in return for our good stewardship and hard work throughout the year.  Butcher the the fatted calf, the hog, lay in the meat for the hard Winter season ahead, lay in the preserves of the garden, of the vine. Winnow and store up grains, some to grind, some to cook. Put the garden to bed, covering her with a nice over winter cover crop that will return to the soil at first tilling next Spring, enriching the soil for the next year's crops.  Once we lived by the rhythms of Nature, the Cycles of her Seasons.  We knew when to plow, when and what to plant.  

We're so far from that now as humans.  No wonder we're all a little nuts.  

Straight From SIRI's "mouth"

Enough said.

Oh Miley, you poor thing!

Well well well.  Poor Miley.  The only statement she's making about herself is that she's cheap and trashy, not sexy and edgy. 

There's FAR more to being sexy than a stripper routine and molesting a foam finger.   Have some class, some elegance.  Some élan.  Some real pride and self respect.  

She should also have a sense of personal responsibility. Millions of young girls admire her.  Want to be like her.  Ask yourselves this: "Do I think that's what I want my 10-12 year old daughter copying?"  Because in reality, there are young girls who woke up this morning thinking of copying.  

I get individuality and personal freedom, really, I do.  I grew up in the era of increasing sexual freedom for women and the equal rights movement.  Bra burning and the March on Washington, and the Vietnam War.  Turbulent times for the entire country.  But not too far removed from the little woman being nothing but a home and babymaker and a "servant".  

Our Sisters have fought since 1848 for our rights to be more than just chattel to a man, to vote, to have a say, to be an individual.  The current women's rights movement has devolved into backbiting, callousness, and cheapness of character.  It pits us against one another.  Fake friends and fake lives.  

We're still fighting to be seen as something other than an object, a vessel, a commodity to be used and discarded.  Yet we let the media tell us what to do, think, eat, wear, what to look like, and how to be.  And if we don't fit "their" standards, (who is this mythical "their"?), then we are somehow "less", our value is lower.  I call BULLSHIT!!!!

Miley might think she's expressing herself as a woman, but that was downright nasty...  Stunts like that hold us back, not empower us. We want to be more than objects or possessions, yet we portray ourselves as objects and allow ourselves to become "owned" by abusive relationships.  

We are our own worst enemy.   

Life and Other Stuff...

Funny how life gets away from you, much like time. We spend our days wishing them away.."I wish it were Friday" or I wish it was Spring". We have trouble remembering that each day is a gift, precious and fragile. We neglect the simple things in pursuit of some seemingly unattainable goal, and if, by some chance, or miracle, or 'divine' intervention, we reach that goal, we find it to be hollow, and unsatisfying. It truly is the simple things in life.

Fall Daze

Today, the weather is rainy, chilly, overcast. I am tired, so tired, from rising early everyday, working overtime, and from staying up too late every night. Averaging 4-5 hours of sleep a night wears you out, especially as we age.
Being overly tired, besides being draining on a body, makes a soul, at least this one, more vulnerable to feeling down, blue, depressed. The rain is doing little more that contributing to that, as I would much prefer to be somewhere quiet, alone, where I can withdraw into myself, pull up the drawbridge and contemplate Life. However, the everyday world requires a paycheck, so, I am dutifully at work, building catheters, listening to an audiobook, and being a responsible adult and productive member of society.
When I was a child, living on a farm and growing up a wilder sort of tomboy, days like this would find me out in the woods and fields, rain/drenched and muddy, insanely happy, enacting out fantasies of being a wild indian, or a pioneer explorer. Of course, that was every day, not just rainy ones. As an only child, I learned early how to entertain myself. Wandering, either afoot or astride my horse, utterly content to be solitary, like some modern day Thoreau, I was in heaven. There were many places to explore, many cow paths to follow, small creeks to wade through and jump over, ponds to fish in, woods to walk, and cornfields to slip through.

Feeling kinda down today. The weather is crappy, (sleet and freezing rain), which flares up my upper back, shoulder and neck pain, and also causes headaches. I have a shit-ton of laundry to do and ZERO motivation. That is all.

New Year, New Goals, Toxic People Banned

Well, 2009 was a weird year. It was also a good year in many respects for me. I learned much about myself, and learned also to be more open and social. I have a tendency to isolate and be more like a satellite orbiting around people instead of engaging. I still have my days, but they are infrequent. I give credit to many things, among them, The Hell Hole, work, and certainly, determination to change. It's good to feel comfortable in one's own skin. It's good to have self-confidence and a more optimistic view and attitude. And that is what I have wanted for a long time, but lacked the courage to change. Yes, it's been hard, yes, I've been scared, but by all the stars in the sky, it has been worth every painful struggle, every bit of swallowing down the fear, to reach today. And I will continue to work every day, every single damn day at this.

For 2010, I've decided that it's time to weed out toxic people. I do not have time nor patience for the silliness and drama in my life. I have enough of my own shit to deal with; I certainly do not need anyone else's!
I've already weeded out one person who has been a thorn in my side for the last 5 years. I've known them for about 12 years or so, but over the last 5 years, they have become increasingly rude and insensitive. This week, it escalated to out and out intolerable. All I know is that I'm glad he lives almost 1000 miles away. I have no explanation for why he feels the need to insult and hurt me this way. But, that's over and done with and I'm not losing any sleep over it, for sure!


Another goal for this year is to continue the progress I've made over the last two years in overcoming insecurities, self-doubts and that negative voice in my head that tells me that I can't do this or that, why try, you're not good enough, blah, blah, blah. These days, I just tell that voice to shut up and mind it's own business.

And I'm writing again, and plan on keeping that going. I didn't write for a long time, not creatively. I felt shut down, uninspired. It's been a joy to have that gift back; I didn't know how much I missed it. It's been fun to dig out some of my old stuff from high school, seeing if any of it was worth salvaging and/or reworking.

So, 2010...I look forward to you.

Smiles...